Sources of The Delaware

I love you he said but saying it took twenty years
so it was like listening to mountains grow.
I love you she says fifty times into a balloon
then releases the balloon into a room
whose volume she calculated to fit
the breath it would take to read
the complete works of Charlotte Bronte aloud.
Someone else pours green dust into the entryway
and puts rice paper on the floor. The door
is painted black. On the clothesline
shirttails snap above the berserk daffodils.
Hoagland says you’ve got to plunge the sword
into the charging bull. You’ve got
to sew yourself into a suit of light.
For the vacuum tube, it’s easy,
just heat the metal to incandescence
and all that dark energy becomes radiance.
A kind of hatching, syntactic and full of buzz.
No contraindications, no laws forbidding
buying gin on Sundays. No if you’re pregnant,
if you’re operating heavy machinery because
who isn’t towing the scuttled tonnage
of some self? Sometimes just rubbing
her feet is enough. Just putting out
a new cake of soap. Sure, the contents
are under pressure and everyone knows
that last step was never intended to bear
any weight but isn’t that why we’re standing there?
Ripples in her hair, I love you she hollers
over the propellers. Yellow scarf in mist.
When I planted all those daffodils,
I didn’t know I was planting them
in my own chest. Play irretrievably
with the lid closed, Satie wrote on the score.
But Hoagland says he’s sick of opening
the door each morning not on diamonds
but piles of coal, and he’s sick of being
responsible for the eons of pressure needed
and the sea is sick of being responsible
for the rain, and the river is sick of the sea.
So the people who need the river
to float waste to New Jersey
throw in antidepressants. So the river
is still sick but nervous now too,
its legs keep thrashing out involuntarily,
flooding going concerns, keeping the president
awake. So the people throw in beta-blockers
to make it sleep which it does, sort of,
dreaming it’s a snake again but this time
with fifty heads belching ammonia
which is nothing like the dreams it once had
of children splashing in the blue of its eyes.
So the president gets on the airways
with positive vectors and vows
to give every child a computer
but all this time, behind the podium,
his penis is shouting, Put me in, Coach,
I can be the river! So I love you say
the flashbulbs but then the captions
say something else. I love you says
the hammer to the nail. I love Tamescha
someone sprays across the For Sale sign.
So I tell Hoagland it’s a fucked-up ruined
world in such palatial detail, he’s stuck
for hours on the phone. Look at those crows,
they think they’re in on the joke and
they don’t love a thing. They think
they have to be that black to keep
all their radiance inside. I love you
the man says as his mother dies
so now nothing ties him to the earth,
not fistfuls of dirt, not the silly songs
he remembers singing as a child.
I love you I say meaning lend me twenty bucks.

- Dean Young

With The Quick Fire Of Refusal

“I guess that ultimately, what I’m trying to say is:

I don’t believe in lasting relationships, I don’t believe in Cloud Nine, I don’t believe in Valentine’s, and I certainly don’t believe in love.
But the one thing I do believe in is that you can prove me wrong.”

I’m Still Here

And perhaps it’s common fears,

or uncommon hearts

That makes us insincere

And torn apart.

“Love without a dream will not survive.”

“It’s now or never,” I told you. But like I said, I tend to say things without thinking them through first (yeah blonde I know). So this is just to let you know, it would still be a yes even if I didn’t make a decision that night. It would still be a yes, because all I’ve wanted to do was stall for time, to make things complicated when in truth, it was just this easy. Always has been, and always will be, when it comes to you.

And for someone else, this is for you. You don’t always have to be right, even if you think that it’s the only thing you’re good at and can be proud of. Because we’re proud enough of you as it is, we’re goddamn proud of the person you are, just you. Nobody can compare to what you are because even without trying, or knowing, you are special. To the world, you may be no one. But to someone, you might be world. That goes without saying for me.

Superbad!

“They literally made me stop eating foods shaped like dicks…hotdogs, popsicles…You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds!”

Best movie quote of the year!

HAHAHAHHA

fo:cus says:
serious
fo:cus says:
you want rich guys?
fo:cus says:
go gambling boat
fo:cus says:
you can see
Germsie! says:
hahaha
Germsie! says:
but must be good looking la
fo:cus says:
www.gv.com.sg
fo:cus says:
you can find alot there
Germsie! says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAA

HERO

Alvin says:

on the other, i have you. someone who probably knows more about me than anyone else and someone i probably treasure more than anyone else. and i don’t want to see you step down a road i know you weren’t meant to walk.

If there was a god, he’d better send you to heaven. But since there isn’t (or I don’t think there is), I hope you’ll settle for like…ice cream sundae or something. With chocolate rice and everything nice.

The Complete Meme Of Your Life

Dear Cassandra

I don’t really know how to tell you this, but you’re a pervert. I think I realized it when I quoted Santa at the mental hospital and I saw you carve your initials into my best friend. I’m sure you’re man enough to understand that Santa doesn’t exist. I’m returning your ring to you, but I’ll keep my virginity as a memory. You should also know that I told in my confession today about Oprah Winfrey imitations.

In pain,
Germaine

 

HERO.

HERO.

But This Is All That I Have

It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that I had anything to say. I don’t have anything interesting to document, all I’ve been up to is trying to keep myself sane – not because everything else is chaos but because everyday has become so much of a routine that I’m desperate for something different. Each new day unravels itself in the same way as it did yesterday, and every hour passed only serves to make me a torpid, pathetic person. The only thing keeping me lucid is the fact that I have weekends to look forward to, and the constant repitition of ‘I am not a boring person’ that loops in my mind, to remind myself that maybe, this is just a phase, a plateau that will reveal more in time.
Maybe its a dream, and if I scream, it will burst into seams and this whole place will fall to pieces.